Selfies, and the Matt who takes them
“Remember,” Dad said, “this is how you’re going to represent yourself. People who might hire you, people who you’re just meeting, people who might decide whether you’re getting into a school.” I was in sixth grade.
Now, almost ten years later, Mark Zuckerburg owns most if not all of my brain, and laughs maniacally while selling my information to advertisers and hackers on the Dark Web. But also, I have access to a slew of pictures of myself that chronicle my life through its weird, cringe-inducing, and sometimes fun phases. Below is a collection of some of these pictures, which come not only from Facebook, but Twitter and Instagram as well. It’s an exploration of how I’ve chosen to represent myself at various points in my life, and what each photograph says about my life on the internet. I tried to focus specifically on selfies, to keep focused on the artistry and whimsy of that art form.
Now, almost ten years later, Mark Zuckerburg owns most if not all of my brain, and laughs maniacally while selling my information to advertisers and hackers on the Dark Web. But also, I have access to a slew of pictures of myself that chronicle my life through its weird, cringe-inducing, and sometimes fun phases. Below is a collection of some of these pictures, which come not only from Facebook, but Twitter and Instagram as well. It’s an exploration of how I’ve chosen to represent myself at various points in my life, and what each photograph says about my life on the internet. I tried to focus specifically on selfies, to keep focused on the artistry and whimsy of that art form.
This picture marks my earliest steps into the bizarre, funny, and sometimes cruel world of social media. While it’s not my first Facebook profile picture (a forbidden relic, deleted long ago), you can still pick it apart to learn a great deal about who I was. I’d had my own cell phone for two years, but I still hadn’t mastered the art of the selfie. To fill the mobile phone vacuum, I would use the camera on my parents’ desktop computer (one of the old colossal iMacs from 2008, which has since taken residence in my brother’s storage unit).
I took a lot of selfies in this mirror/camera, because I spent a lot of time on my parents’ computer in general. I’d like to say it’s because I was diligently working on homework when I wasn’t at band practice—that’s what the kid in the picture would tell you. The truth is, I spent most of my time browsing YouTube or playing old flash games and blowing off my homework until the last minute. You might not think it from the clean-cut nerd you see, but I’ve always been pretty lazy.
I took a lot of selfies in this mirror/camera, because I spent a lot of time on my parents’ computer in general. I’d like to say it’s because I was diligently working on homework when I wasn’t at band practice—that’s what the kid in the picture would tell you. The truth is, I spent most of my time browsing YouTube or playing old flash games and blowing off my homework until the last minute. You might not think it from the clean-cut nerd you see, but I’ve always been pretty lazy.
I don’t hate many things on Earth, but boy, do I hate this photograph. I’m not actually sure what specific year it was taken, but I know I created this monstrosity when I went through my I-Don’t-Smile -in-Photographs-Because-I’m-Cool phase. Don’t tell me you didn’t have one of these, I know for a fact that you did. Also notice the highlights in my hair. Yikes. This selfie was—I believe—one of my first profile pictures for my Twitter account, started in 2012: @MattSchwain. People still think that’s my name sometimes.
It should be noted that this and the previous photo were taken in high school, before I had a smartphone. If I wanted to tweet on the go (I always want to tweet on the go) I had to text through Twitter’s phone service, a number I still have saved on my phone: 40404. I’d think of something funny, slide my phone open, and type away to my little heart’s content. I got caught texting in school pretty often, but most of the time I was tweeting instead of talking to my friends--a little sad, I know. Since I hooked my phone up to the text service, I’ve been positively addicted to Twitter.
It should be noted that this and the previous photo were taken in high school, before I had a smartphone. If I wanted to tweet on the go (I always want to tweet on the go) I had to text through Twitter’s phone service, a number I still have saved on my phone: 40404. I’d think of something funny, slide my phone open, and type away to my little heart’s content. I got caught texting in school pretty often, but most of the time I was tweeting instead of talking to my friends--a little sad, I know. Since I hooked my phone up to the text service, I’ve been positively addicted to Twitter.
We're jumping forward in time here, almost five years. Before moving to Muncie for school, I got a smartphone and jumped into the worlds of (now private) Instagram and Snapchat alongside Facebook and Twitter. Eventually, though, I realized that I was in need of a social media makeover.
Professionalism is one of the most important traits of a successful educator and writer. I’m sorely lacking in this trait, but still have a passion for writing and educating. So, most appropriately, this cropped selfie was the first profile picture for my “professional” Twitter, @coffeecuppoetry. I was taking a contemporary British literature class in 2016, and I didn’t want my professor and classmates to see the bona fide mess that had become my personal account. So, to keep my private and academic lives separate, I made a Twitter account with the same handle as my poetry Instagram. But, wanting to keep some of my personality in there, I made this my profile picture. I’d rather be myself than make everyone think I’m some kind of serious, practiced person and disappoint them. Besides, my great grandma told me the best people refuse to take themselves seriously. I guess that makes me the second best.
Professionalism is one of the most important traits of a successful educator and writer. I’m sorely lacking in this trait, but still have a passion for writing and educating. So, most appropriately, this cropped selfie was the first profile picture for my “professional” Twitter, @coffeecuppoetry. I was taking a contemporary British literature class in 2016, and I didn’t want my professor and classmates to see the bona fide mess that had become my personal account. So, to keep my private and academic lives separate, I made a Twitter account with the same handle as my poetry Instagram. But, wanting to keep some of my personality in there, I made this my profile picture. I’d rather be myself than make everyone think I’m some kind of serious, practiced person and disappoint them. Besides, my great grandma told me the best people refuse to take themselves seriously. I guess that makes me the second best.
Keeping that same weird, self-deprecating sense of humor from my Twitter, I decided to use this picture on my “professional” Instagram, @coffeecuppoetry. See, since 2015, I’ve had this sort of gimmicky thing going where I write poems on coffee cups and post them to that account under the hashtag #pretentiouscoffeecuppoetry. Again, I’ve got a sort of self-deprecating sense of humor. Of course, you could probably tell that from the cup. I know it’s not technically a selfie, but I thought it really captured that specific aspect of my behavior on social media, and how I like to present myself online and in person: snarky, goofy, and weird.
Fun fact: those flecks on the mirror are from when I was brushing my teeth and had a coughing fit five minutes prior to taking this photo. The blurry girl to my right is my girlfriend, Tasha, who doesn’t usually pose like that. This is the most recent selfie on my Facebook profile, not my current picture. But like the first one in this series, I think there’s a lot we can learn from this profile picture in particular. More than anything, I think what it can tell you about me is that today I really don’t mind if someone’s perceptions of me are a little negative. I’m not looking my best in this picture; my hair is a hot mess and I’m looking very greasy. Not to mention the mess I made of the mirror. But even though it’s not my best picture, I thought it was funny, and I’d had a really good day with Tasha. I just wanted people to know that much. I think that’s where I’ve made the most progress on social media and in digital literacy—I went from knowing next to nothing and just using Facebook to having two Instagrams, two Twitters, a Snapchat, and that same Facebook page. I learned how to blog. I got a smartphone and never cracked the screen. And now, what matters most to me on all these profiles is that the people I love are there. If anyone’s not a huge fan of my humor, my posts, or me in general, well, the best thing about social media is that you can turn it off. I’m proud of how I’ve presented my personal life alongside my academic and professional life, and how my digital presence reflects my actual self.
In the gratuitously bad Riverdale, the edgy and overbearing Jughead Jones (seriously, who let this show happen?) goes on a rant about how weird he is, how he doesn’t want to fit in, and how he’s comfortable in his own skin. While I detest the show, the character, and even the line, I can't say I've never felt like that before. And as I’ve grown older and more skilled with social media, I’ve learned that I’m happy to represent myself as the strange, sarcastic, kinda funny person that I am. More than anything, when someone's thinking about hiring me, letting me into school, or being my friend, that's what I want them to see.
Until next time. Have a good weekend, everybody.
In the gratuitously bad Riverdale, the edgy and overbearing Jughead Jones (seriously, who let this show happen?) goes on a rant about how weird he is, how he doesn’t want to fit in, and how he’s comfortable in his own skin. While I detest the show, the character, and even the line, I can't say I've never felt like that before. And as I’ve grown older and more skilled with social media, I’ve learned that I’m happy to represent myself as the strange, sarcastic, kinda funny person that I am. More than anything, when someone's thinking about hiring me, letting me into school, or being my friend, that's what I want them to see.
Until next time. Have a good weekend, everybody.